I was thinking about stupidity this week, it's a long story, the short version is; stupid is dead long live stupid. Anyway I had reason to think about the shortcomings of others and I realised that many minds had colluded in the description, definition and display of euphamisms for I.Q. shortfall, like;
She was dumber than dirt.
or
He was two colours shy of a rainbow
Inventive ways to avoid hurt, but the sentiment is 'you're stupid'.
But there does not seem to me to be a way to say other things, other ways to brighten your day and say flowery words to impress and coddle interest in your language. So much effort gone into dressing up the derogatory doll, I say NO MORE! and roar and rail against beyond the pale sentiment.
So I am going to provide you with the black pepper spritz on the top of your speech pizza. Something to add something to the mundane and workaday, work it into your day, and say, hey, it's me, and I'm more interesting than a magic eye picture on acid. This service is a sporadic series of sayings. Sporadic as in; this may be the only one I come up with (but I doubt it). Go forth use.
As overwhelmed as a cobbler at a clown convention
More to come as and when I have some.
P.S. This post is the start of something for a 'Slam' I am, attending. So if it seems a little verbose then it's suppose, to.
]]>Hello, if you've liked any of my writing on this blog then think about this...
I am offering bespoke Poems, Poetry, or Prose tailored to suit your needs. If you have a Birthday, Wedding, Party, or event coming up, I can write a funny couplet, poem or joke for you to use in your speech, your card. on the invite or to perform at the event. Comedy pieces to order, you just provide the details and I'll weave it into a silly something for you to send to a special someone or use in the way you want.
All you need to do it get in touch and provide me with some details of the person or people you'd like the poem, verse or prose about plus how long you'd like the piece and your deadline and I'll send you an idea of cost. Once it's finished I can even have it printed on a nice paper and displayed in a lovely frame sent to the person directly, anywhere in the world.
For more info go here: Comedy Poems and Poetry written to order
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Wedding Invites
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and anything else you think might be approrpriate, or even inappropriate!
Contact me through my website (link above) or VOX or Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=605091109
And give the gift of comedy
]]>I shall be doing my standup/poetry with Frank DaPlank in attendence at The Boileroom venue in Guildford on the 11th September. So come down, drink make merry and watch me do my thang. The more of you who come the better chance I'll have of getting a regular spot!!! I'll even buy you a drink (one between all of you, with lots of straws... Nah, ok then.)
If you don't know Frank: www.myspace.com/frankdaplank
Text me on 07968 756595 to tell me you are coming first 6 get put on the guest list and get to touch Frank!
Tell people, tell all!
P.S. I promise no costumes/makeup/wigs will be worn.
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Jesus, Slacker
You might say I am an unbeliever
But Jesus was an under-achiever
He only managed to save the Earth
Flash Gordon saved the universe
S.P.Morrison
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